There's something about a child's joy when they're opening up presents on christmas morning. Delilah was absolutely floating around the room when she opened her gifts. This year was the first year since I've been separated from Jill that Delilah spent the night on christmas eve. So, she got to open some presents here, and then we went to her mom's for breakfast and I watched her open gifts there.

It was a virtual Barbie explosion! Barbie EVERYTHING! But Delilah really enjoyed herself, and I got such a kick out of seeing her being so happy.

So, I guess Danielle and I hit it off once again. We talked a LOT Friday night, and after talking about "how good we were together," we decided to give it another try. Things are so different in both of our lives now than they were 2 years ago. I can't believe that it was almost 2 years ago that Danielle and I parted ways, and stayed friends all this time.

I've changed. I've grown. 2 and a half years ago, I really wasn't ready to be in a relationship. Now, I am. And Danielle and I I don't think ever fought when we were together. We had one of the most mature relationships that I have ever had. So, we embark on the journey once again.

Saturday Roger threw a birthday party for his son at Chuck-E-Cheese in Waterbury. It was originally scheduled for Dec 13, but that was the weekend of the heavy snow, and it was cancelled. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have Delilah this weekend, but I arranged to pick her up and bring her to the party.

Now, the thing that I dislike about parties at Chuck-E-Cheese is the noise level of so many kids all running around in such a small place. This was definately going to be a 3 Advil event :) But for some reason, I didn't mind it this time.

Most of the Naugatuck gang were there, including Daniel. Dan performed a special magic show for the kids. Even though Dan's barely out of his teens, he puts on one hell of a show. This kid's gonna be great in a few years. Be on the lookout for him!!!

Danielle and I brought Delilah, and the "girls" kinda hung together most of the time. Which was okay, because Brian and I got to play video games for a good portion of the party. You should have seen us- a couple of mid-30's guys playing a competitive driving game for like hours! Roger's grandma thought it was pretty funny that Brian and I were 2 of the biggest kids there!!!!

I think next time we go to Chuck-E-Cheese, we make it an adults only affair!!!!

It's strange- after months of not really talking, Danielle and I are talking again. I called her the other night, and we talked for almost 2 hours. About what was going on in our lives, and how we get along so good, that it's almost like we should be together. So I asked her out to dinner tonight. We seemed to have so much to catch up with each other, that we'll probably end up talking all night....

Hey, does anyone actually read this thing? If so Email Me!

Everything that happened with Mom this week, and the last 3 years, really got me thinking... What's it all for?? In the end, what are we left with? It all comes down to this-- who's gonna take care of you? Do you have enough money for the care you need?? Oh, and "Do you have insurance?" We go through our whole lives and that's what it all comes down to??

I guess I can go through life worrying about the answers to these questions. I've thought alot about it. Pondering it over for a while on the way to work Thursday morning, it came to me. Live for "the now." We can all live for now, and make the best of the time we have. Remember the past, live for now, plan for the future. It's all we really can do.

It's easy to say these things here. I guess actually living by those words is what we're all trying to do. Too bad it's taken me so long in my life to realize some of these things.

Well, it's been a long week. I'm now fighting a cold, and to top is off, I have Delilah this weekend....so I will get some rest, but I gotta still play daddy. I'm about to dose up on Nyquil (funny, it tastes like Jaegermeister!) and hit the hay. Delilah was up late tonight watching some of the holiday cartoons.....

Wednesday morning, I get a call from Jill at work (she works in the ER at Hartford Hospital) saying "Do you know your Mom's here." No, I didn't. I was told that she was brought in by ambulance the night before because she had fallen. My father hadn't informed me or either of my sisters of this. So, I took off from work to be with dad and mom.

Mom suffered a compression fracture in her lower back, and is now getting rehab at a place in Bloomfield....Dad was pretty upset and worried Wednesday, so I'm glad that I was there to help him out with all of this.

Well, some great news today! I'm an uncle again! My twin sis Diane gave birth to a baby boy today. So now, my dream of having a nephew is realized....7lbs 6oz, I forget the length...

It also an amazing full moon tonight. As I was driving home from picking up Delilah at school, the sky was crystal clear, and the moon was a huge orb right over the eastern horizon. I wish I had my camera with me, because the view of it hanging over West Peak with the castle in Meriden all light for the holidays was just perfect.

Well, time to go watch American Choppers...it's a new episode (hurray!) tonight!!!

I didn't really have that exciting a day. I did manage to wake up in time for Sunday Morning today, but I didn't really watch it. The first piece they did was on how everyone's gotta have all the best shit. BMW's Tiffany, all that yuppie bullshit materialistic shit. What the fuck does it all matter people???

That kinda disturbed me, cause it seemed again like media was just aiding in the commercialism of the holidays. This year in particular, I'm SO not into it. I'm kind of in a weird dilemma regarding it, and that's another time....

I went out and started to dig out the driveway. Technically, that's not my responsibility, but my half-ass landlord does a shitty job. He DID however, take 35 bucks off my rent.... Took a drive to Dunkin' to get some chocolate, and swung by Bernie's for a bit.

That's about it, I watched a couple of DVD's tonight and got online to feed my blog reading addiction....

It's still snowing. I ventured out in it twice today, but I never left the Middletown city limits. The first time, I just kinda took a spin around and got used to driving in this shit again, grabbed a quick bite at Mamoun's and headed back to the apartment.

Mike called later and asked me if I wanted to go to the diner and grab something a bit after that, so I went with him and Hondo (his friend). I had a light bite (grilled cheese) cause I already had something at Mamoun's.... Hondo dosent really drink or anything, so after we dropped him off at Liberty and Pearl, Mike had the great idea of hitting up Eli Cannon's for a drink. Which ended up being a couple of beers and a couple of shots!! Not to mention the cheese fries. Yummy!

There were two events today that were either cancelled or I just didn't want to drive to them. The first was a birthday party for Cullen, Roger's son. I was to have picked up Delilah and taken her to Waterbury for it. Roger called about 9:30 this morning and said he'd postponed it. Which was fine by me, since I didn't want to drive in this shit.

The second was the monthly Blessed Beat drum circle at Brian's house. I guess some of the crazier ones made the trip, but even with 4x4, I wasn't going to drive all the way there. Which really sucks, cause I hadn't been to a circle since September, and I was really looking forward to jamming with those guys again.

Oh well, ya just gotta love winter, eh?

What the fuck am I doing awake? Time to hit the hay.....

I normally don't do this but:


You are Fezzik, the warm hearted giant from
Greenland. You have a gift for rhime and the
strength of five men. People call you stupid,
and you often believe it yourself, but when
things go wrong you always work out the best
thing to do.


Which character from The Princess Bride are you? (with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

It's Friday. It's the first major snowstorm of the season. The media, who usually send everyone into a freaking panic whenever there's a hint of a snowflake in the air, have correctly predicted the arrival of said snowstorm. I still think they like to throw around exaggerated snowfall ammounts and the use of the word "Nor'easter". Brad Field, "how about 6-12' inland, or even maybe a foot and a half". He's like a kid in a candy store, all excited about it. I'm starting to like Geoff's casts even better...

I was supposed to be going to Hamden to be meeting some of the people from The Daily Column tonight, but we all agreed that it would be insane to have all of us (what few insane people would have still gone out in this) be driving through the snow to get drunk and all... They've gotten together a couple of times before, and it was on an evening where I couldn't make it, and the one freaking time when I could make it, we get pounded with snow and horrible driving conditions.

So, I kinda killed some time here at tho house, but nothing seemed to hold my interest this evening. I got bored with the computer, nothing really good was on the tube. So, I sat up in the bedroom window and turned off the lights and watched the traffic try to make the hill across the street. "This is what you do on a Friday" you might ask.... well, it beats trying to play bumper cars out there. I was actually in a good mood though......

What is the purpose we all have in life? Is there some kind of higher state of being that we should be trying to achieve? I feel so lost right now. I thought I was on the road to somewhere....something. But now, I've lost it!

I just feel like I'm living to go to work, and working so that I can have a place to live. What the hell is that?? I have Delilah, and I'm a great father to her. That's something that gives me a great purpose. It's my drive....what keeps me going......

The holidays always seem to make me feel blue....everyone seems so happy and joyous... It would be nice to find the right person to share some special times with. I guess that will come in time. I'm hoping that it will happen when I least expect it.

It just seems that here we are, wrapping up another year, and what have I really accomplished?? Have the last 365 days really changed anything? I thought my life was going in a new direction in the first part of the year. I had a great sense of what I was doing was going in a positive direction.

Now, all I feel inside is just a great sense of doubt. About my self, about my surroundings, about the people I've surrounded myself with...have I really made a change in my life for the positive??? I'm not so sure right now.

Why the hell are you reading this? Get out of my head! The real question, is why am I putting this out here for you to read????

I keep trying to start a new blog entry, and everytime I do I just draw a blank. I guess I just really don't have anything to say...