Wow! That's all I have to say. I had one really powerful weekend! My Rites experince has to rank up with one of the best weekends of my life. Even with camping out in the rain, everything went great. What we had been rehersing so much for all came together terriffic!

We never really rehersed an ending for the drummers, so most of what happened was totally spontaneous. We were leading into a tribal dance and we just picked up tempo at the end and just fucking let loose with a tempest! It all just locked together and we went wild! Dancers started entering the circle and there must have been about 100 people just getting off on the rythym that me, Roger, Daniel, and Lisa were groovin on. We were just ripping it up and creating so much energy! So much energy that Lisa lets out one of the loudest tribal screams that I have ever heard! Fucking intense! It was so great to have been a part of this!

It was a total weekend of getting in touch with everything for me. I needed to spend a little time getting back to myself, and this gave me the perfect opportunity to do that. And get in touch with Mother Earth as well. Throw in some of the best drum circles that I've ever seen, and good friends, it was a great time! Also, in a way this was kind of a sort of closure for me. Everything that happened the last 2 months since we started rehersing is now complete. What a fucking ride!

Lunar Eclipse

"...I'll see you on the dark side of the moon!"

I had a pretty good day at the daily grind today, despite the crappy weather. I was assigned to work at a site in Middletown today, so I was actually able to get a little extra sleep today :) Good way to start off a Wednesday.

I went to an Open Mic at Rookies in Cromwell last night. It was a good scene. I had discovered it with Bernie a couple of weeks ago, and found out they do it every Tuesday night. There was a guy there doing Dave Matthews covers two weeks ago that was really good, and I saw him again in the crowd. I got to talking with him, and seems that he's a pretty ok guy. We're gonna try to get a little duo thing going with me playing percussion. Gonna see how that goes, or even get Craig involved with it.

I just love open mics. Good way to see aspiring talent! Or just live music in general for that matter. That had a little jam going- Sweet Home Alabama>La Bamba. Rather interesting segue :)

You know, I consider myself a goodhearted, caring person. But over the years I have been called many an insult from different people, ranging from the ususal "Asshole", "Jerk" and so on. Some even have ventured to call me "verbally abusive" to "pathetic loser". But the one that has forever stuck in my mind is from my sister Denise, circa 1976; "You dopey, dummy, dummy, dummy". Damn, if she sometimes isnt right to this day! ;)

In the Cd Player Today:
Michael Cleary- "Call it What You Like"
Dr. Didg- "Out of the Woods"
Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young- "So Far"
Bob Marley- "Legend"

Craig sent me an article from the New York Times yesterday (May 18, 2003) about the dangers of damaging friendships by posting information about them in your blog. Seems that they should have interviewed me on that subject, as I have first hand experience! Some have been damaged, some have been utterly dsestroyed!

I made a trip up to Northampton on Friday. What a cool little town it is! I have an affinity for my three little towns that are along I-91; New Haven, Middletown, and Northampton. I guess it must be the whole college town thing, with New Haven having Yale, Middletown with Wesleyan and Northampton having Smith (among others). All three towns are pretty artsy, have great shops and a great environment.

Middletown still has the widest Main Street in America though! And I'm not saying that just because I live here.

When I was up there, I visited one of my all time favorite stores, Ten Thousand Villages. I bought me yet another precussion toy, this time a shaker made out of dried seeds. I needed a shaker to use at Rites, and I wanted to use something a little more "natural" sounding than the egg type shaker that I had been using. Check out their web site that's one funky little store, and they sell all kinds of neat stuff.

I can see by your eyes you must be lying
When you think I don't have a clue
Baby you're crazy
If you think that you can fool me
Because I've seen that movie too

The one where the players are acting surprised
Saying love's just a four letter word
Between forcing smiles, with the knives in their eyes
Well their actions become so absurd

So keep your auditions for somebody
Who hasn't got so much to lose
`Cause you can tell by the lines I'm reciting
That I've seen that movie too

It's a habit I have, I don't get pushed around
Stop twinkling your star like you do
I'm not the blue print for all of your B films
Because I've seen that movie too

"I've Seen that Movie Too" -Elton John

Man, I really cant wait for Rites of Spring next weekend! This is gonna be a blast. Got lots of preparing to do for it. Gotta finish rounding up the rest of the camping gear. And then work on the provisions. But I'm just thinking about how freaking great this is gonna be! Gonna be a great weekend for sure! Keeping my fingers crossed for good weather :)

I just witnessed an amazing total eclipse of the moon a while ago. It was just incredible. Drove over to Black Pond and just sat there and watched it for a while. The clouds statred really obscuring the view just before totality though. There wqas another great nature site as well. The whole time we were sitting there, this rather big swan was out on the pond doing a little late night fishing. It just was there, oblivious to the fact we were standing there. ("Does the Swan fish at night?" - Mike)

Got home and the moon was again visible from the driveway, looking across the small pond in my backyard. It was in totality still, and you could see the whole dimly lit face of the moon. You know, everytime I witness something like this, I realize just how great everything is. How the whole nature thing just captivates me! We're all tied together by the greatest forces!

In the CD player now-
Pink Floyd- Dark Side of the Moon (what else?)

You know what pisses me off more than anything? People who don't tell the truth. I HATE being lied to, especially when the person doing the lying feigns sincerity! That hurts more than if I was just told the truth in the first place.

So to you, anyone who has ever lied to me (well, the IMPORTANT lies, not the little white variety), I send a big FUCK YOU! You know who you are. If you just told the truth in the first place, it would have hurt much less. Thanks for having consideration of another persons' feelings.

In the CD player recently-
The Eagles Greatest Hits 71-75
Best of Vanilla Fudge
Metallica- Metallica
Dead Can Dance- Toward the Within
Sting- ...nothing like the sun

The drum circle Friday was good, I ended up running into an old friend who I havent seen in a few years. He was friends of the family before my marriage fell apart. So it was cool catching up asking about the kids and what not. Funny thing is I ran into him again today when I was at Wal-Mart. You don't see someone for three years, and then you run into them twice in one weekend! Coincidence? Wakes you wonder!

Kim came down and visited me yesterday. We had a good afternoon together. She and I have so much fun together! I actually got her to play a drum! We did a little mini-jam last night (all apologies to the neighbors). She's one of the people who I can really be myself around. I just love it :)

Today, I just had a me day. Did for things for me. Except for remembering Mother's Day, I had to take some time to remember her! Gonna go and relax and finish watching the Simpsons now :)

It's Friday :) A beautiful day out here! Too bad that I'm stuck in the office! I'm looking forward to getting out this weekend! Going to drum circle tonight (and that's usually fun). Tomorrow my friend is coming down to visit for a couple of days, and I'm really looking forward to seeing her again.

I had a rather uneventful night last night, but I can't say that it was a bad evening. I was able to catch up on the dreaded housework and get some things done before I was able to wind down. I also was able to pick up another roll of film that I developed. I'll put up a picture of Delilah when I get a chance!

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery.
And today? Today is a gift.
That's why we call it the present".
---Babatunde Olatunji

A couple of weeks ago, I found an old friend who I haven't spoken with in a couple of years online. We started talking about stuff, and I think we realized just how much we miss each other. She was (and is) the kind of friend that I could truly be myself around. I was able to let out my repressed crazy self! No, really, I am a pretty fun guy :)

Anyways, she moved to Flordia and the other night we exchanged phone numbers and ended up talking for almost 2 hours, (ouch, that phone bills gonna HURT!) until the wee hours of the morning. It was like the two years hadn't even passed, though much had happened in both of our lives. We just had a really great conversation. Sometimes life is good :)

I'm starting to see who my friends really are........

I saw Delilah play soccer today for the first time. It's funny, they're just starting to get a feel for the game, so it's kind of entertaining to watch them play. Some of them at age 5 are really good, other's cant seem to keep their mind on the game and kinda wander. Delilah did rather well, I might say- for just starting out!

I'm still trying to convince myself that I'm happy- but I keep having this underlying feeling of dispair. I think I've been fighting it all along, it just seems to be coming out more lately. I'm trying to make myself happy- that's the only way that I will be truly happy. The best piece of advice I had been given about that was "surround yourself with things and people that make you happy". So I try. Boredom is the enemy though!!

I've started to really dislike love songs. Who the hell are they written for anyway?

It's Friday. The weather is great. I love this time of year almost as much as I love fall. It's especially nice since we had such a long winter, and rather cool early spring. I just hope we get a couple of days like this for Rites. Camping in the rain really sucks, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will be nice out that weekend.

Weird, I don't ususally put much stock in horroscopes, but the one I posted yesterday seems rather fitting. I think what I was looking for in life might have damn well been a pipe dream. Time to realize that the future is in my hands, and that I have to take the bull by the horns and find my "new vision".

My horroscope from last week's advocate:
"Your big assignment for the rest of 2003,
Completely demolish your old ideas about paradise so
that you can conjure a fresh new vision of it"

Went up West Peak, no sun showing :( But I did get a chance to see some of the daffodils that I didn't even get a chance to see last weekend. Too busy with all the running around for the drum circle. The city didnt even have anything in place for it, and I ended up rigging the sound system up for John.

Looking forward to seeing my daughter tonight. I hope that we have a good time together while Jill is away. This will be Deililah's longest stay with with me since Jill was in the hospital a couple of years ago. I hope that Delilah dosent get a case of the "I want my mommy" thing.

In the CD Player Today:
David Bowie- Live at the Beeb (disc 2)
Stain'd- Break the Cycle

It's May! It's May! :) Feeling pretty damn good this morning, despite the rainy weather. Work got off to a slow start this morning, but I have to run up to West Peak in a little bit. If only it were sunny, I'd love to spend a few moments up on the rocks by the castle. Remembering that warm September day last year when I sprawled out on the rocks before me Craig, and Neil had our little drum jam up on the cliff....