The other day, I got a flat tire while driving with my daughter. I pulled the car into a quiet parking lot and started getting out the spare tire, jack and lug wrench. Delilah, my 9 year old daughter, got out of the car with me and was watching. I decided to turn this into a learning expereince for her.
"Do you want to learn how to chage a tire?" I asked. "Sure, Daddy!" was the reply. I explained to her that I don't want her to be one of those girls who, when she's driving around with her friends, gets a flat tire and is totally unaware of what to do. I mean, my father never taught me how to change a tire!!
I don't want her to be someone who has to rely on someone to take care of things like this for her. "No, Daddy, I'm going to be an independent woman!" She will be the envy of all her girlfriends!
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
We're all insane
Ok, it's true. Dating in your 30's and (almost) 40's is difficult. I mean, when you're younger, you still believe that the fairytale romance still exists. Whis is a great dream if you can hold onto it.
Most of the people I know are now in their early to late 30's (yes, there are some exceptions, but we're not talking about YOU this time). Almost all of them who I have talked about relationships to have been hurt at least once . Some are downright scared to get involved again...
Most of us can't decide if we even want to be get close to anyone, let along get into a relationship. I know that personally, I miss the closeness of a lover. But I don't miss the "drama" and all the other stuff that typically seems to go along with a romantic coupling.
Ok, we're a cynical bunch. We have baggage. We've been so soured by love in the past, that we just don't want to deal with it anymore. I really can't blame us. Because getting hurt really sucks.
We're all looking for a normal, sane person to be with us. But that's impossible, because at this point in our lives, we're ALL insane! So, I reiterate what I said a few blogs back. I simply give up on the whole relationship thing.
Most of the people I know are now in their early to late 30's (yes, there are some exceptions, but we're not talking about YOU this time). Almost all of them who I have talked about relationships to have been hurt at least once . Some are downright scared to get involved again...
Most of us can't decide if we even want to be get close to anyone, let along get into a relationship. I know that personally, I miss the closeness of a lover. But I don't miss the "drama" and all the other stuff that typically seems to go along with a romantic coupling.
Ok, we're a cynical bunch. We have baggage. We've been so soured by love in the past, that we just don't want to deal with it anymore. I really can't blame us. Because getting hurt really sucks.
We're all looking for a normal, sane person to be with us. But that's impossible, because at this point in our lives, we're ALL insane! So, I reiterate what I said a few blogs back. I simply give up on the whole relationship thing.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
I complain about hearing Margaritaville at the laundromat. So why is it that last night, I chose that song to sing at karaoke?? And this isn't the first time. Of course, it was a slightly older crowd, and it's great to see them all singing along.. At least this time, I didnt change up the lyrics!!
This week, I'm going karaoke crazy!! Tonight, I'm meeting up with an old friend, and we're going to do karaoke!! Oh, what have I become!!!
This week, I'm going karaoke crazy!! Tonight, I'm meeting up with an old friend, and we're going to do karaoke!! Oh, what have I become!!!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
What can be better than Johnny Cash covering Depeche Mode??
Johnny Cash- Personal Jesus (link fixed 4/23/07)
Johnny Cash- Personal Jesus (link fixed 4/23/07)
Sunday, April 08, 2007
I have a lap cat...
When I first "adopted" my cat Freya over a year ago, she was a very scared, timid little kitten. Her first week or so of her life here was spent hiding under the loveseat in my living room. The very fist time she ventured out on her own was the day that I brought my daughter home to meet her.
Freya is still skittish to this day, but she's come out of her shell quite a bit. I recieve a warm welcome from her every day when I arrive home from work, and most times when I'm on the computer, she takes up residence next to the keyboard.
I recently have started doing a bit more reading-- which is something I keep intending to do, and usually put off. I noticed something while I was reading the last few times. Freya insists in curling up in my lap while I read. She will stay there the entire time, until she hears a loud noise or I have to get up.
It seems that I now have a lap cat.....
Freya is still skittish to this day, but she's come out of her shell quite a bit. I recieve a warm welcome from her every day when I arrive home from work, and most times when I'm on the computer, she takes up residence next to the keyboard.
I recently have started doing a bit more reading-- which is something I keep intending to do, and usually put off. I noticed something while I was reading the last few times. Freya insists in curling up in my lap while I read. She will stay there the entire time, until she hears a loud noise or I have to get up.
It seems that I now have a lap cat.....
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Over the last couple of weeks, I was wondering if anything I do really matters to anyone at the end of the day. Besides my daughter, does it all really matter?? I mean, what am I really doing on this planet besides being the best father I can be??
At the end of the day, does what I really do matter?? I mean, I fix coffee machines!! Not exactly a world-changing occupation.
Let me tell you a story. The other day at work, one of the other partners (that's what we're called in Starbucks terminology) was having a shitty day. I was not in the best place either (both physically and mentally), but I was trying to make the best of the situation.
When I'm feeling stressed or depessed at work, I usually try to just act a little silly and crazy. At least I try to keep my chin up and a smile on my face. Well, me and the other partner kept joking back and forth and we got to the point where we were almost in tears from laughing so damn hard.
When I was leaving at the end of the day, my coworker was handing me my drink and told me that even though he was having a crappy day when he came in, that he felt better because I made him laugh. On my drive home, I thought about it, and realized that I, indeed, had made a difference in someone's life. Maybe not an Earth shattering difference, but a difference nonetheless.
In addition, last night, I read this from the list of acknowledgements of Tom's new website: "Paul, friend of so many years, for being there when it really counted. I'll never forget how you've helped me get to where I am now." Wow. Nice words from a longtime friend.
So, I guess I really do matter to someone out there.
At the end of the day, does what I really do matter?? I mean, I fix coffee machines!! Not exactly a world-changing occupation.
Let me tell you a story. The other day at work, one of the other partners (that's what we're called in Starbucks terminology) was having a shitty day. I was not in the best place either (both physically and mentally), but I was trying to make the best of the situation.
When I'm feeling stressed or depessed at work, I usually try to just act a little silly and crazy. At least I try to keep my chin up and a smile on my face. Well, me and the other partner kept joking back and forth and we got to the point where we were almost in tears from laughing so damn hard.
When I was leaving at the end of the day, my coworker was handing me my drink and told me that even though he was having a crappy day when he came in, that he felt better because I made him laugh. On my drive home, I thought about it, and realized that I, indeed, had made a difference in someone's life. Maybe not an Earth shattering difference, but a difference nonetheless.
In addition, last night, I read this from the list of acknowledgements of Tom's new website: "Paul, friend of so many years, for being there when it really counted. I'll never forget how you've helped me get to where I am now." Wow. Nice words from a longtime friend.
So, I guess I really do matter to someone out there.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Yup, I was at the laundromat again tonight. I heard "Margaritaville" on the radio as expected. That happens every time I set foot in there, regardless of the day, or time..
Though today, I was in a really good mood, and I wasn't in the usual funk that had been accompaning my recent trips to get my wash done. Things are being put into their place in the past. That's a good thing :)
Though today, I was in a really good mood, and I wasn't in the usual funk that had been accompaning my recent trips to get my wash done. Things are being put into their place in the past. That's a good thing :)
I love equinoxes and solstices, the dreams they send. Others may have dreams of power on these nights as well. Catalouging dreams and meditating on them until the "real" world counterparts are discovered is potent organic technology that everyone can benefit from. Everyone have fun tonite. Everyone wang chung tonite.
(borrowed from someone on tribe)
(borrowed from someone on tribe)
Monday, March 12, 2007
Don't Dream it's Over
Once I had a dream. I dreamed that I would find my true love. The person who was "the one." You know the feeling, you finish each other's sentances, they think like you do. They actually "get you."
Now, I know life is never perfect. I'm a realistic peson, there are going to be times when you and your "soulmate" aren't exactly seeing eye to eye. But if they are indeed they are "the one," they will understand those moments and as a couple you get through them.
I'm tired of chasing that dream. Everytime I think that I have found what I thought I was looking for I get hurt. Another piece of my heart broken and scarred. I know sometimes that I want to have that something so bad, that I will look past everything that's telling me to run away and throw myself into a relationship with wild abandon. Some people call that following your heart. Others call it just plain foolish.
I starting to think that it's the later. The last time that I tried this, I entered into a relationship that was filled with lies and deception from the first day--and I knew it. But I chose to ignore it and dive in head first into a pool with no water in it. You know what happened, I crashed into the bottom of the pool and had to pick up the pieces again..
It is said that love finds you when you're not looking for it. Well, I'm not looking for it anymore. I'm not willing to let myself get hurt again. I'm just focussing on being the best person that I can be. I've got my life together and things are ok.
Now, I know life is never perfect. I'm a realistic peson, there are going to be times when you and your "soulmate" aren't exactly seeing eye to eye. But if they are indeed they are "the one," they will understand those moments and as a couple you get through them.
I'm tired of chasing that dream. Everytime I think that I have found what I thought I was looking for I get hurt. Another piece of my heart broken and scarred. I know sometimes that I want to have that something so bad, that I will look past everything that's telling me to run away and throw myself into a relationship with wild abandon. Some people call that following your heart. Others call it just plain foolish.
I starting to think that it's the later. The last time that I tried this, I entered into a relationship that was filled with lies and deception from the first day--and I knew it. But I chose to ignore it and dive in head first into a pool with no water in it. You know what happened, I crashed into the bottom of the pool and had to pick up the pieces again..
It is said that love finds you when you're not looking for it. Well, I'm not looking for it anymore. I'm not willing to let myself get hurt again. I'm just focussing on being the best person that I can be. I've got my life together and things are ok.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Monday, February 05, 2007
Pachebel
This is probably one of the funniest things I heard in a while. As well as being all over the net lately...
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Love and Laundromats
I was doing my laundry today--I hate going to the laundromat. Just the simple act of having to take all my laundry there and sit there while I watch it tumble in the dryer reminds me of everything. I mean, I used to have a fucking washer/dryer in my own kitchen and I gave that all up. Why??
To make matters worse, they have Lite 100.5 piped in there so I have to listen to all those sad love songs that they play. No one said doing laundry was fun, but now I have all this time to think about HOW I ended up at a laundromat and everything that happened the last few months.
Oh, and every time I'm there, they play Margaritaville. So, I sing it at the top of my lungs!!!
"Some people claim that there's a woman to blame......."
To make matters worse, they have Lite 100.5 piped in there so I have to listen to all those sad love songs that they play. No one said doing laundry was fun, but now I have all this time to think about HOW I ended up at a laundromat and everything that happened the last few months.
Oh, and every time I'm there, they play Margaritaville. So, I sing it at the top of my lungs!!!
"Some people claim that there's a woman to blame......."
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
People Come into your life for a reason....
I think back through the past few years and I realize that people come into your life at specific times for a reason. Some of them have been profoundly life changing friends. I was a lot closer to some of them in the past, and we have amicably went our separate ways. I still consider them friends though- there's no bad blood between us.
I've been told that everyone who enters your life is there for you to learn and grow from. Even if your relationship with a that person may cause you pain, there is something to be learned from it. You just have to pick that lesson out and grow from it. I guess in life you never do stop learning and growing emotionally until the day you die.
My current circle of friends (the drum circle gang) are a direct result of 2 people coming into my life, Emily and Craig. Emily was my neighbor and introduced me to Craig. Craig in turn turned me onto drumming which in it self was a major life-changing event to me. It gave me something to feel passionate about! I now have a group of friends who are simply amazing!
Sometimes, it isn't people who change your life. I met Jennie through an online site where we started talking to each other on the computer and our friendship blossomed from there. I haven't been to that website regularly in over a year, but Jennie and I have still maintained a beautiful friendship.
I don't know where I would be today if it weren't for all of my friends- my support system. I realize that I have so much wonderful, positive energy in my life and I'm truly grateful for that.
I've been told that everyone who enters your life is there for you to learn and grow from. Even if your relationship with a that person may cause you pain, there is something to be learned from it. You just have to pick that lesson out and grow from it. I guess in life you never do stop learning and growing emotionally until the day you die.
My current circle of friends (the drum circle gang) are a direct result of 2 people coming into my life, Emily and Craig. Emily was my neighbor and introduced me to Craig. Craig in turn turned me onto drumming which in it self was a major life-changing event to me. It gave me something to feel passionate about! I now have a group of friends who are simply amazing!
Sometimes, it isn't people who change your life. I met Jennie through an online site where we started talking to each other on the computer and our friendship blossomed from there. I haven't been to that website regularly in over a year, but Jennie and I have still maintained a beautiful friendship.
I don't know where I would be today if it weren't for all of my friends- my support system. I realize that I have so much wonderful, positive energy in my life and I'm truly grateful for that.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Good Friends
I went over Brian's last night and got a chance to hang out with him, Pat and Donna. The three of them are simply amazing, some of my best friends. We rarely have a chance to just hang out and spend time together. Of course, we ended up drumming, and Pat and I drummed so hard I thought my hands were going to fall off. We raised some serious good energy and everything was good!! It was a great time with three of my good friends.....
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
I feel happier lately than I've been in a long time! I'm doing things that I love to do, with people that I care about. I feel like a weight had been lifted off of me that was holding me down for the last 6 months. I hadn't realized that once again, I gave up myself just to be in a "relationship" with someone. A relationship that I thought was setting me free was really just holding me down.
I'm not saying that I didn't feel I was in love. I know that I was, but at what cost??? The stress and drama of her is all gone and I feel once again that I'm able to be me. The feelings of longing and hurt have allready started to fade away. Now, I feel like I'm #1.
Happy New Year!!
I'm not saying that I didn't feel I was in love. I know that I was, but at what cost??? The stress and drama of her is all gone and I feel once again that I'm able to be me. The feelings of longing and hurt have allready started to fade away. Now, I feel like I'm #1.
Happy New Year!!
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Bringing in the New Year
Jacq posted about our expeience with Kirtan chanting on New Years eve. Read about it on her blog here. I had an awesome night and I feel like I'm finally at a place where I can put 2006 behind me and move on in a good state of mind. I haven't felt this good in MONTHS....
Monday, January 01, 2007
I had the most amazing New Years Eve last night. Jacq invited me to go to a live Kirtan/Yoga event in New Haven, and it was amazing. She and I ended up sitting in and drumming with the chants and it was one of the most amazing drumming experiences that I have ever had. What a way to ring in the New Year!!
As we got to the last chant of the evening, Denise asked us to bring in an intention to carry with us to the new year. My intention is to put the past behind me and move on and get back to who I am. I feel so charged up right now, and it's like all is right in the world now.
As we got to the last chant of the evening, Denise asked us to bring in an intention to carry with us to the new year. My intention is to put the past behind me and move on and get back to who I am. I feel so charged up right now, and it's like all is right in the world now.